I never smoked too much, even in college it was no more than once a month or so. I remember though for the first three years my experience has always been extremely positive, even when I get too high the disorientation is still a good experience.
I took a bit of a break from it, during which I came into some very hard times: money issues during school, breakup with long term girlfriend, a death in the family, all whilst trying to keep my grades up from increasingly difficult engineering classes. The next time I smoked, I had just an absolutely disastrous paranoia scare and the feeling lingered for days afterwards. Everyone else seemed to have had a good time.
Now, every time after that, even if I just take a tiny puff, I get a panic attack, and the higher I get the worst it becomes. I’m not sure exactly what this could be. Could the emotional stress I had been repressing in that one year trigger something after I smoked, and my brain just decided to remember that paranoia feeling with being high? Am I just not going to be able to smoke weed anymore forever?
For the record, I have tried both indica and sativa strains and both give me the same effect. I’ve tried smoking with friends as well as alone in a safe environment and again, same effect. I’m in a way better point in my life nowadays compared to that first anxiety attack while high but that doesn’t seem to matter.
I’d appreciate if anyone has had similar experiences and can shed some insight.